he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
