apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
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