it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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