i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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