i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
