How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
