our cab driver is having phone sex.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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