omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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