you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Vodka?
Forever.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
