he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
