i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I stole a fireplace last night.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
