Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
