So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
