Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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