There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Life is so much better after having sex.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
