you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
