Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
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I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
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You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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