So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
