fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
