i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
