Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
