I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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