My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
