"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
