i jhust puked up my retainher.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
