Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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