he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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