Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
All I want is dick and wine.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
