Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
