Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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