no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Four minutes until I can fart!
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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