69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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