Umm I'm too high to move.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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