just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
