maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
