I murdered the dance floor call the cops
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
