I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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