Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
