I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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