dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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