Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
