ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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