If i come over, it means nothing
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
