What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
