The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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