While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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