i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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