Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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