and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
We're too hungover to prance.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
