My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize