Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
