alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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