I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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