I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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