For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
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We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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