dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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